Then it got bad. I found out that one of my students is has a mass in his brain; so deep and so large it is impossibly inoperable. He’s handling it well, and has recently started aggressive chemo. But it is very scary.
When I found out that news, I hadn’t run in weeks since the Hudy 14k. But after hearing it I needed a release, and my stress eating was starting to show (several nights my dinner consisted of a pint of Greaters and 2 cans of Diet Dew). So I laced up my shoes and went for a run. And I have got to say, I’ve never outright cried on a run before. I’ve had my eyes tear up from wind or cold, but never had I bawled whilst running.
I don’t know what to do, I wonder if I’m more frightened then the student or his classmates. I’ve been beating myself up over this too much, and the worst part is that fact that there’s nothing I can do. The sense of helplessness that cancer brings, is something ‘younger me’ didn’t comprehend when my grandmother went through it all those years ago. We’ve met with him, he’s visited school, and I’ve even had the class Skype with him during class after his first day of chemo. Even without the knowledge from being briefed by his mom and the hospital staff; I know this kid, this 13 year old kid has a very long, very hard road ahead of himself.
That being said, I haven’t been on my blog lately, and have spent just as little time on Dailymile. I hope to get back into things, just as I’ve gotten back into the running. It’s odd, the things that serve as catalysts in our lives.
When I found out that news, I hadn’t run in weeks since the Hudy 14k. But after hearing it I needed a release, and my stress eating was starting to show (several nights my dinner consisted of a pint of Greaters and 2 cans of Diet Dew). So I laced up my shoes and went for a run. And I have got to say, I’ve never outright cried on a run before. I’ve had my eyes tear up from wind or cold, but never had I bawled whilst running.
I don’t know what to do, I wonder if I’m more frightened then the student or his classmates. I’ve been beating myself up over this too much, and the worst part is that fact that there’s nothing I can do. The sense of helplessness that cancer brings, is something ‘younger me’ didn’t comprehend when my grandmother went through it all those years ago. We’ve met with him, he’s visited school, and I’ve even had the class Skype with him during class after his first day of chemo. Even without the knowledge from being briefed by his mom and the hospital staff; I know this kid, this 13 year old kid has a very long, very hard road ahead of himself.
That being said, I haven’t been on my blog lately, and have spent just as little time on Dailymile. I hope to get back into things, just as I’ve gotten back into the running. It’s odd, the things that serve as catalysts in our lives.
Tomorrow I run in a 5k fundraiser for my own school. I'd like to run a fast time, but I'm happy just getting back into it. Hopefully, I post a race result sometime sooner than 4 months.
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